Recently, my brother has become seemingly obsessed with monoliths, so I began to write him a rap in the style of MC Hammer (our idol*)
Since the dawn of time, you been chillin’ on the earth
Waiting for the time of humanity’s birth
Then on the moon you sit in wait
For some human guys to activate
YOUR POWER
Then in the year 2001 off of Mercury
A guy named Dave has tried diligently
To come into contact with this Mercurian groove
That everybody in the club will want to (not) move
DO THE MONOLITH
DO THE MONOLITH
Since your human homies have travelled through space
You think it’s high-time to evaluate their race
You study this Dave throughout his life on a simulated Earth
Then you grant him a godlike galactic rebirth
OF POWER
All of this plot is poorly explained
Through a seven-minute-montage of bright colorful pain
After a few shots of a monolithic tablet
And a quick runthrough of Dave trying to unravel its
POWER
DO THE MONOLITH
DO THE MONOLITH
So now these are the rules explicitly stated
To the new dance craze that we’ve created
Just stand yourself tall against the ground
And wait for the other ones to come around
When everyone you know is doin’ the dance
And it seems that everybody is caught in the trance
That’s the only time you’re allowed to break free
Of the new monolith dance that’s so groovy
*'90s rap has a special place in our hearts. It's... held up pretty well.
Speaking of things that have held up well (but seriously this time):
2001: A Space Odyssey.
I love the film, but, strangely enough, my brother has never seen it. This rap serves as a bit of an explanation (as far as I can gather).
The only problem is that it contains spoilers for a 50-year-old movie. Oh well.
