I recently discovered that ETRADE has been charging me $40 a quarter as maintenance fees on an account I opened with them over two years ago. I had intended to purchase some AAPL stock, but never got around to it. I used some of the checks they sent me to pay bills and left a few hundred in the account. The first year was free, which means the second year they managed to steal $160 from me.
I've called and e-mailed several times and they absolutely refuse to budge on these fees.
Now it's time to get even. They have a free unlimited bill pay service online. All you do is enter someone's name and address, and it cuts them a check for the amount given. That means for each check, they have to pay for a stamp, which is typically 44¢, but they may get a bulk discount and pay only, say, 35¢. They also have to expend resources printing the check - the cost of these resources are hard to quantify. Assuming an automated process, the primary cost is depreciation on the machines, paper, and envelopes. Maybe this works out to 10¢ a check.
So I figure if I send out about 360 checks, that should waste all of the $160 that they stole from me, at a personal cost of only $3.60. Then I'll close out the account and tell them where to get off at.
So, if you want a novelty check for 1¢, just send me your name and address in a PM (US only). You can send me other names and addresses too, and I also plan to get a list of charities and send all of them checks as well. Then I'll write some kind of AppleScript or other automation system to manipulate the ETRADE site into sending all of the checks.
Remember, USA only addresses, I can't send outside of the country with ETRADE. You must include your first and last name for the check.
