Persuasive Essay

[Gan]

I wrote a persuasive essay for AP Lit. The goal was to convince your parents to allow you to keep a pet.

Mom and dad, I found this really awesome pet and I’d like to keep him. I know my previous attempts haven’t been so good with my cat Fluffy eating Hammy the hamster. Then the door was left open and Princess the Chihuahua chased Fluffy outside. Sure there was a tragic car accident involving a squished dog, a rolled over car and a missing cat. But I believe it’s time we got a new pet. I’m sure you will love him and I promise, this time it will be different. After all, how bad could a pet dragon be?

Of course one of the first worries you’ll probably think of are the dragon turds. There could also be the claw issue and how things around the house could get torn up. Lets not forget about his dietary needs as well as where he will sleep. Fear not, there are simple solutions to all of these!

A few things I probably should explain, this dragon I found is a miniature white dragon. White dragons are incredibly intelligent creatures and this one was without a collar or owner tags. So I’m pretty sure he’s just a stray. Plus they are miniature. In fact according to my research the miniature white dragons get no bigger than twice the size of a cat, or about the size of a great dane. As for dragon turds, I can train him to go in a large litter box or even outside in the yard. I hear they only go to the bathroom once a day.

Did I mention dragons are smart? They can be trained to behave and even to do tricks or follow directions. This should make him much more domesticated and home friendly. I’ve called a few animal clinics and they do in fact declaw dragon front and back paws. Though I’d hate to be so mean as to leave my dragon defenseless, I’d just use a file to dull his claws.

Through a ton of Internet research I have come to a very important conclusion: dragons eat lots of meat. In order to stay healthy, dragons need a large diet of protein and plenty of water. Therefore we shall feed him ferret food. The market nearby supplies them in bulk. Ferret food is very nutritious and consists mostly of protein. So the white dragon will be perfectly fine if he has a large bucket of ferret food and water nearby.

So I ask-even beg, may I keep this dragon? I’d hate to leave him alone in this cold and lonely world. How could someone live with themselves knowing that they refused to take in an ownerless and starving dragon? Oh the cruelty! Mother and father, can we keep this harmless and adorable creature as our pet?


Works Cited
(1) Drake, Ernest, and Dugald Steer. Dr. Ernest Drake's Dragonology Handbook: a Practical Course in Dragons. Cambridge, MA: Candlewick, 2005. Print.
(2) Draconika - Dragons, Dragon Information, and Dragon Pictures. Web. 30 Nov. 2010. <http://www.draconika.com/>.

I had to read this in front of my class. Someone said I should be a children's story writer.
What do you guys think?

[Xiphos]

Yeah I liked it and add some pictures and this essay could be a child's book.

[Connors]

I WANT A WHITE DRAGON NOW!

[Tireas Dragon]

That convinced me. You may have your dragon.

[Swamp7hing]

If this is supposed to be an actual persuasive essay, there are a few structural errors and narrative problems - not to mention the tone is informal and and the diction is a bit off.
... where are the parentheticals?

I digress, that's the english major in me talking.
It's a bit violent and rude for a children's story, don't you think?

[Gan]

not to mention the tone is informal

It's intended to start and end a bit formal but become informal in the juicy parts.

IIt's a bit violent and rude for a children's story, don't you think?

Just the first bit or so. It's meant to hook interest.

Thanks for the critique and replies.

[Jinxycat]

I like it Gan! I think this would make a good children's story. Do you do much writing?

P.S. That Dragonology book is cool. I have the mythology one too.

[Gan]

Yeah I liked it and add some pictures and this essay could be a child's book.

That'd be awesome. Just need an artist... and perhaps an editter.

I WANT A WHITE DRAGON NOW!  

You and I both.

I like it Gan!  I think this would make a good children's story. Do you do much writing?

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah, I do tons of writing. Mostly just code and forum posts though.

P.S. That Dragonology book is cool. I have the mythology one too.

Awesome. It has some pretty interesting stuff.

[WarHampster]

Hammy the hamster

BTW, I didn't know you were an English person Swamp... that's probably the road that I'll be taking as well.

[Silverwind]

You mean you'll be sipping tea with your pinky raised as you cheer your favourite jockey at the horse races with posh cries of "Spit spot, good show, tally ho!" and all that?

[Swamp7hing]

BTW, I didn't know you were an English person Swamp... that's probably the road that I'll be taking as well.

Well, it's not quite optional considering my program of choice. I live to write and I love everything about the English language - quite advantageous for my current situation, as I study and produce all forms of Media (I'm talking film, music, television, advertisements - the works).

If anyone would like a bit of discourse on Syntactic Inversions, Chiasmus, Anaphora, and Asyndton (plenty more, don't get me started) I honestly wouldn't mind talking a bit of narrative jargon to you.