Yes, actually. It's incredibly short, and I did none of the programming. But I did write it.
It's in Python.
For some reason, even if you have python installed on your mac, it won't run, so there's that. I'm just going to post the code, actually. You can worry about finding an interpreter.
The reason I made a game that doesn't work for Mac is that I didn't make it alone. A friend programmed it. I just wrote it. You could just follow along with the code, because it's just a text-based game.
from random import randint
print ("Doughnut Theory Games Presents: the Awesome Space Artichoke Simulator 2200")
print ("In the year 2200, the Earth suffers massive damage, due to the separation of power based entirely on control over the Earth's artichokes. Your mission is to debunk the system and claim all the artichokes for Mars.")
player_name=input("Firstly, what is your name, Martian commander? ")
print ("Ah, "+player_name+","+" "+"is it? I've always loved that name. Good luck, you'll need it.")
print ("Our story begins with you, our hero, landing on the planet in a Martian landing pod. You seem to be in a human settlement of some sort. You're going incognito, as the locals are complete racists, and would kill you without thinking.")
inves_inter=input("Do you decide to INVESTIGATE the town or INTERROGATE people? ")
if inves_inter.lower()=="investigate":
# if the user enters INVESTIGATE
inves_inter="investigate"
print ("You wander around for a while, assessing the probability of certain establishments to provide you with help. You decide the situation is pretty bleak. After passing seventeen meat markets and a fishery, you've finally had enough. You walk into a pub and order the local specialty: cheese whiskey.")
drink_leave_captu=input("Do you DRINK the whiskey and talk to the locals, LEAVE the bar and seek assistance elsewhere, or try to CAPTURE the pub as a rebel base and begin your conquest here? ")
if drink_leave_captu.lower()=="drink":
# if the user enters DRINK
drink_leave_captu="drink"
print ("You've made a poor choice, and - sadly - you get drunk. Upon revealing everything you know, you're shot dead by a man in a suit who owned valuable artichokes. Your body is burned, and you are remembered forever as the failure who couldn't last one hour on Planet Earth.")
elif drink_leave_captu.lower()=="leave":
# if the user enters LEAVE (the bar)
drink_leave_captu="leave"
print ("You leave the bar before you have a chance to make any bad decisions. A wise choice, as your small Martian body absorbs alcohol at ten times the rate of a human being. To drink Earth-liquor would be suicide for the mission, and for any hope of conquering the planet.")
print ("You leave the pub and wander down Main Street for several minutes. There are no shelters, houses, tents - or any other dwelling places, for that matter. This seems peculiar, you think. They must live somewhere. You wish to talk to any seemingly trustworthy human in private. Your only hope is a rather large building that appears to have balconies jutting out from higher floors. This might be the home you were looking for.")
conti_enter=input("Do you CONTINUE looking, or do you ENTER the building? ")
if conti_enter.lower()=="continue":
# if the user enters CONTINUE
conti_enter="continue"
print ("You continue your search, but to no avail. Your persistence should be rewarded, but it isn't. You eventually decide to return to your spaceship and go home. Alas, you run out of fuel and are stuck in orbit of the Red Planet for the rest of your days, because your people never truly cared for your wellbeing. You live out the rest of your sad life, continuously hungry, and especially thirsty, because you cry out all the liquid you could possibly consume. The ship's supply bay has all the necessary food and drink that you require, but you soon lose the will to survive, and initiate a self destruct. Your story is forgotten, as is your memory altogether.")
print ("You got the very long, slow, and terrible ending. Try again, and make better choices.")
elif conti_enter.lower()=="enter":
# if the user enters ENTER
conti_enter="enter"
print ("You enter the 'apartment building' as your Guide to Humans and All of Their Humany Things tells you. There's soothing music playing in the lobby, and an elevator that makes a cheerful ding when it reaches its destination floor. You find the source of the music, a group of humans standing around with metal tools in their mouths. 'This is Live Jazz Music,' your Guide tells you, and you sit back and appreciate it for a while. After all, this might be the last music ever heard on this planet, if you get your way.")
print ("The elevator door opens, and you jump to the opportunity. Upon getting in, you press the button with the number four on it - as that has long been your favorite number.")
print ("When the door opens once more, you walk until you find the third door on the left, marked '444'. A man's voice calls out:")
print ("'Who are you, and what is your business?'")
answe_run=input("Do you ANSWER him and decide to trust him on a whim, or do you RUN for your little alien life? ")
if answe_run.lower()=="answer":
# if the user enters ANSWER
print ("You've decided to trust a complete stranger, and yet, there's something that's just so trustworthy about him. You can't explain it, but it's as though you're destined to talk to him. He takes you up to his apartment and you talk for a while, discussing the artichoke market, when he informs you that there's already a rebel movement underway.")
print ("You present yourself to the rebels as a new leader, and are gladly accepted. Under your rule, the war is soon won, and you can easily take control of the planet until the rest of your race arrives to come live in peace and harmony with the humans.")
print ("Only they don't. Your people never come, and somehow, this makes you feel lonelier than you ever have. Even though the humans adore you, and you no longer have to hide your true identity, there's nothing for you here. Now that you've saved the humans, your life feels meaningless. You take off in your spaceship to explore new planets, and to help save people in need.")
print ("You got the best ending, and be sure to look out for a sequel, coming around the year 2201.")
elif answe_run.lower()=="run":
# if the user enters RUN
print ("You've decided that no matter what, humans are untrustworthy. You decide to initiate your own takeover of the planet immediately. It's moderately successful, with no casualties. For around one minute. Then you're shot dead. Hooray.")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'answer' or 'run'.")
answe_run=input("Do you ANSWER him and decide to trust him on a whim, or do you RUN for your little alien life? ")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'continue' or 'enter'.")
conti_enter=input("Do you CONTINUE looking, or do you ENTER the building? ")
elif drink_leave_captu.lower()=="capture":
# if the user enters CAPTURE
print ("You decide to pull a sneak attack, so you move to the back of the bar. You reach into your toolbelt and find three weapons, but you also find an enemy. You've been caught, and must make an impulse decision and hope that your weapon can counter his.")
print ("Conveniently (although you don't know this) he has the exact same three weapons.")
print ("Your options are a laser blaster, stun cannon, or broken bottle. blaster beats cannon, cannon beats bottle, and bottle beats blaster.")
cpu_choice=randint(1,3)
usr_choice=input("Which weapon do you choose? A laser blaster (1), stun cannon (2), or broken bottle (3)? ")
if (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(1,1) or (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(2,2) or (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(3,3):
# TIE
print ("You both stand there awkwardly for a few seconds. You put your weapons down.")
print ("'You're good, kid,' says the guy.")
print ("'Thanks,' you respond.")
print ("'I'll buy you a drink.'")
print ("You become friends with this stranger, and then you start an indie game company called Doughnut Theory Games. After a day of hard work, you've produced your memoirs, and are now selling them in game form for only $5. What a deal!")
print ("You got the real-life ending.")
elif (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(1,2) or (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(2,3) or (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(3,1):
# USER WIN
print ("This rebel attempt is off to a great start. Your weapon has bested his, and the rest of the bar shows little resistance. The plan from here is to conquer the rest of the Earth. This will require many difficult decisions and you may be in grave danger.")
surre_conti=input("Do you wish to SURRENDER now because you can't handle the responsibility, or will you CONTINUE with your mission?")
if surre_conti.lower()=="surrender":
# if user enters SURRENDER
print ("You throw down your arms. You've just killed a man and now you feel remorse for your actions. It would be impossible for you to make yourself take over this planet anymore. You step outside to find the police standing there, and you confess to being the murderer, and an alien, and trying to take over the planet. You're taken to Death Row, and are going to be executed by a firing squad. It shouldn't have ended like this, but you know that it had to. You don't plead for forgiveness, but instead you know that you are getting what you deserve.")
print ("You got a bad ending.")
elif surre_conti.lower()=="continue":
# if user enters CONTINUE
print ("You start a rebel base in the pub. It seems like not too many of the people there were overly fond of the state the world was in anyway. You appoint leaders, and plan battles. The bar has lots of useful resources, and plenty of rations (as long as the troops are content with drinking only highly alcoholic beverages).")
print ("The time for war has come. The base is under siege by the artichoke owners.")
move_lead=input("Will you MOVE to a new, hidden location, or do stay to LEAD your troops into battle?")
if move_lead.lower()=="move":
# if user enters MOVE
print ("Good idea. You get in an executive caravan of armored vans moving all the important leaders to an underground bunker where they can lead indirectly. This is good, for your army suffers a devastating loss. There is still hope, though, as another mobilized fleet of spaceships that you built in your spare time with pieces of barstools and urinals (that runs on beer) has just captured the small, South Sandwich Islands.")
home_islan=input("Will you return to the HOME base or go to the South Sandwich ISLANDS?")
if home_islan.lower()=="home":
# if user enters HOME
print ("From the home base, you can lead your army to have the comeback of the century. Soon, nearly half of the population of the Earth sees you as their leader, and your forces soon overtake those of the artichoke empire. Being that your mission of saving humanity is accepted, you assume that they will now want you as their leader. You're wrong, and with all the energy they've built up from the war on artichokes, they easily destroy the entire Martian army, and your race is now used as slaves to grow artichokes in a reestablished artichoke empire.")
print ("Needless to say, you've utterly failed.")
print ("You've gotten the very bad ending, and driven your race into slavery. Way to go.")
elif home_islan.lower()=="islands":
# if user enters ISLANDS
print ("From your hidden base in the deep jungle, you're able to lead the army to victory without any physical damage to yourself (excluding bug bites). After winning the war, you return to find a broken society with nothing left to stand on. The humans' war against themselves has left nothing for them to stand on. There's absolutely nothing left for you to conquer.")
print ("You've ruined a brilliant opportunity, but at least you're still OK.")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'home' or 'islands'.")
home_islan=input("Will you return to the HOME base or go to the South Sandwich ISLANDS?")
elif move_lead.lower()=="lead":
# if user enters LEAD
print ("You never were much of a fighter. Five minutes after the start of the battle, you're shot, and the rest of your army soon surrenders. You were important to the rebellion, and now no one feels like fighting any more.")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'move' or 'lead'.")
surre_conti=input("Will you MOVE to a new, hidden location, or do stay to LEAD your troops into battle?")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'surrender' or 'continue'.")
surre_conti=input("Do you wish to SURRENDER now because you can't handle the responsibility, or will you CONTINUE with your mission?")
elif (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(2,1) or (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(3,2) or (usr_choice,cpu_choice)==(1,3):
# USER LOSE
print ("He draws quicker, and draws a better weapon. You are beaten, and won't live to see another battle.")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'drink', 'leave', or 'capture'.")
drink_leave_captu=input("Do you DRINK the whiskey and talk to the locals, LEAVE the bar and seek assistance elsewhere, or try to CAPTURE the pub as a rebel base and begin your conquest here?")
elif inves_inter.lower()=="interrogate":
# if the user enters INTERROGATE
inves_inter="interrogate"
print ("You board a bus going to the neighboring town of Stinkensville. It drops you off at a bus stop in a smoggy part of the city next to a man smoking a cigarette. He seems trustworthy, albeit a bit unfriendly with his lungs. You make small talk until the next bus comes and he gets on.")
follo_leave=input("Do you FOLLOW him or LEAVE the bus stop? ")
if follo_leave.lower()=="follow":
# if the user enters FOLLOW
print ("You get on the bus and the sit down next to him.")
print ("'What's your name?' he asks.")
print ("You respond with 'My name's"+" "+player_name+"."+" "+"You don't happen to be in the artichoke business, do you?'")
print ("'As a matter of fact, I do.'")
print ("'Excellent. Listen, I'm not from around here.'")
print ("'I see. Another Martian looking to get into the artichoke market, eh? You've come to the right person.'")
print ("'Saying 'get into' might be a little off. See, I'm looking to conquer the planet.'")
print ("'Not a problem, I can hook you up. Give me a call.'")
print ("He gives you his phone number: (555) 555-3535. Calling him would be easy - if you had a phone.")
cell_payph=input("Do you go to the CELL phone store or go to find a PAYPHONE? ")
if cell_payph.lower()=="cell":
# if the user enters CELL
print ("You find a cell phone store on the corner of the street. During this time period, there's one on every street corner. It's a law. Don't even get me started on weird laws. During the takeover of the artichoke owners, lots of strange - seemingly useless - laws were made.")
print ("You buy the most expensive model with the counterfeit money that you printed using the state-of-the-art money printer from your spaceship. You decide to call that guy.")
print ("beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop beep boop")
print ("'Hello?'")
print ("'Ah, my little Martian friend. How are you these days?'")
print ("'I just saw you an hour ago...'")
print ("'That is of no matter. The important thing is the artichokes. They have a secret.'")
print ("'They do?'")
print ("'Yes. It all goes back millions of years. The artichoke was an obscure breed of hedgehog that was over hunted by its biggest predator, the ostrich. To escape this menace, it evolved to look like a vegetable and avoid being eaten. Back then, nobody liked vegetables. As people's mothers figured out that they could pull a prank on their kids by convincing them to eat disgusting plants, though, the artichoke's evolution began to backfire. Now, it is commonly believed that artichokes are vegetables...by those who are stupid enough, anyway.'")
print ("This news is startling, and you begin to feel sick. After finding out that the only way to gain control of this planet is by murdering helpless animals, you no longer feel as though you should. Instead, you launch a campaign to protect the artichoke, which lasts roughly 3 seconds. You are shot on the spot by a rich artichoke farmer, and are burned for heresy. I guess it's hard to get the news out on what's right when what's wrong is the commonly accepted thing. Nevertheless, in death, you feel fulfilled, knowing that you've tried to do the right thing.")
print ("You got the OK ending. Thanks for playing.")
elif cell_payph.lower()=="payphone":
# if the user enters PAYPHONE
print ("You idiot! No one uses payphones anymore. They couldn't if they wanted to. They've been officially outlawed, and that's because they were obsolete. You get utterly lost, and cry yourself to sleep under the stars, covered only by a newspaper. It rains, and you get hypothermia and die a painful death because you'd be discovered if you went to a doctor, and you're too lost to find your ship. Your body rots and infects the groundwater, so the people of Stinkensville all get poisoned and die from the drinking water. Hooray for you.")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'cell' or 'payphone'.")
cell_payph=input("Do you go to the CELL phone store or go to find a PAYPHONE? ")
elif follo_leave.lower()=="leave":
# if the user enters LEAVE (the bus stop)
print ("You leave the bus stop, and enter a nice restaurant on Fifth Street. Inside, you meet the woman of your dreams, and you begin to go out. Then, you get married in the tropics, have five children, and get a career as a marketing executive at a big company. You're as happy as you could be until you find out that your wife is a robot and has been cheating on you with your computer. She takes the cyborg kids. Your life falls into chaos and you feel terrible about yourself, so you buy a fancy convertible. After all of this, you lose your job, and go to work for minimum wage at a fast-food joint for the rest of your life. Then one day you die because you couldn't afford any sort of health care at all. You have lived your life out, but it feels as if it were just yesterday when you decided to leave the bus stop - that bus stop which was so full of opportunity. Your one last wish was to just go back - to go back to that bus stop would entirely change the course of your life.")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'follow' or 'leave'.")
follo_leave=input("Do you FOLLOW him or LEAVE the bus stop? ")
else:
# if the user enters invalid material
print ("Sorry, that's not a valid response. Enter 'investigate' or 'interrogate'.")
inves_inter=input("Do you decide to INVESTIGATE the town or INTERROGATE people? ")
Yes, his game making company is called Doughnut Theory games. And maybe when he learns to code something that COULDN'T have been made in the 1970s I'll tell you guys.
