My Children's Book

[Zoo]

I wrote a children's book for fun. I think you'll enjoy it. I still need to illustrate it and send it to a publisher, but... XD

How Can I Be Sure That Wales Exists?
Existential Crisis for Kids

One time in second grade geography, my teacher told the class that there was a country near England called Wales.

I wasn’t so convinced.

How can I be sure that Wales exists?

I’ve never been there. What reason do I have to believe that there is a country called Wales?

Whales definitely exist. My mom took me whale watching once. We went out on a boat, and saw real, actual, living whales.

But how can I be sure that Wales exists?

I’m fairly certain that the rest of the United Kingdom exists. My great aunt lives in Scotland. We don’t talk very often, because she’s hard to understand. My dad says she’s going “senile,” whatever that means, but my mom says that all Scots are like that.

Quite a lot of television comes from Britain.

And Ireland must exist, because my dad is always grouchy after Saint Patrick’s day.

But how can I be sure that Wales exists?

Frankly, I’m not entirely sure of my own existence, or at least the existence of other people. Sometimes I’m awake all night wondering whether I’m the only sentient being, and whether everything else was created just for me. I also wonder whether life is just a dream, and whether I’ll wake up the next morning with no recollection of previous events and ponderings over the corporeality of a small European nation by the sea.

But I know that in the end, I must exist. My parents have a piece of paper that says so.

Wales does not have a piece of paper.

How can I be sure wales exists?

To this day, I have not been to Wales, and I’m still not entirely sure whether it’s real. But I know that most of the other things I learned in second grade turned out to be true (except for the five senses. I learned that was wrong on the day I smelled ghosts in a haunted house).

But I guess the moral of the story is that you can’t always trust adults, and that sometimes it’s better to discover things for yourself. Except whether you should stick a fork in an outlet, or whether you should microwave the fish, or whether you should eat grass in the park. You should probably trust your parents on those things.

[Connors]

I'm not sure what a kid would say if you read them this book, but I thought it was hilarious! You should illustrate it just for fun.

[Zoo]

Oh, I'm going to. XD

[WarHampster]

If I read that as I child I'd cry myself to sleep ;_;

[Connors]

I'm actually convinced you have more than 5 ways to sense things and the "5 senses" seem kind of silly. Things that might also be considered senses:

A sense of relative hot and cold temperatures.

A sense of balance or which way is down.

A sense of pain.

A sense of where parts or your body are (you don't have to look at your legs to know what position they are in!).

[Zoo]

Yeah, the five senses thing is complete nonsense. Aristotle came up with it, and it caught on, but it's totally wrong. humans actually have way more than five. Sense of balance, hunger, temperature, direction, etc.