Game Maker's Garage Forum
Game Maker's Garage => Trash Talk => Topic started by: Xiphos on October 18, 2010, 04:57:45 PM
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The game starts with a scenario. Each person continues with Fortunately or Unfortunately and a statement. Doesn't have to make sense. If it takes more than a day for a reply a new game begins.
Example:
Today I bought a cat.
Fortunately my girlfriend loves cats.
Unfortunately I am allergic to cats.
Fortunately I was brought to the ER in time.
and so on
Now lets start:
Today I went to egypt!
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Unfortunately on your trip back from Eqypt your plane's wing combusted in an explosion of flames.
-Gan
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Fortunately, I had the seat tray up, and the chair in the full upright position.
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Unfortunately, the rest of the plane wasn't so lucky.
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Fortunately I managed to unbelt, strap on a parachute I snuck aboard, grab the single and good looking stewardess and jump out in time. Just in time to miss the boom of the flames hitting jet fuel.
-Gan
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Unfortunately what looked like a stewardess was a bit deceiving...
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Unfortunately what looked like a stewardess was a bit deceiving...
Fortunately you didn't specify how so; she was an actress!
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Unfortuneatly, the parachute was full of holes and you started falling to your doom.
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Fortunately, GTA physics became real world physics and you landed safely in the ocean.
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Unfortuneatly the ocean is full sharks and 5 are charging toward you.
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Fortunately, the sharks are defanged and just want to bring you to the nearest land mass!
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Unfortunately the nearest land mass is 538.6 miles away.
-Gan
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Fortunately that land mass is Candy Island though, and well worth the wait.
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Unfortunately, you hate candy.
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Fortunately according to an unreliable scientific discovery, the tastes of taste buds change every 11 years. The latest 11 years just ended.
-Gan
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Unfortunately, you ate too much candy and now your stomach hurts.
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Fortunately you brought some pepto bismol.
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Unfortuneatly, one of the sharks that helped you get to the island had diareha and he ate all your pepto bismol.
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Fortunately the shark offers to reimburse you with gold!
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Unfortunately, the gold is to heavy and you are unable to carry it.
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Fortunately despite her skinny arms, the stewardess was quite strong and willing to help carry the gold.
-Gan
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Unfortunately she sprained her ankle and was unable to move it anywhere.
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Fortunately she was a specialist in a strange sport involving hoping on one foot.
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Unfortunately that sport is banned on Candy Island, as well as in the surrounding sea.
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Fortunately the shark is a land shark and can carry the gold for you!
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Unfortunately there is no use for gold on Candy Island whatsoever.
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Fortunately there's a cashing bank on the island for giving cash for gold that you can receive back at home.
-Gan
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Unfortunately you cannot go home because you are completely stranded.
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Fortunately you still have your shoes.
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Unfortunately your shoes are Japanese sandals; they hurt the heck out of you!
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Fortunately your still on an island full of unlimited sugary treats!
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Unfortunately, you can't eat any because some of the candies are poisoness and you don't know which ones those are.
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Fortunately your land shark volunteers to test them for you.
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Unfortunately they all die from poisoning.
-Gan
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Fortunately dead land shark is the currency of Candy Island
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Unfortunately DSC (Dead Shark Currency) isn't doing well in the recession. It's worth less than the Euro!
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Fortunately you still have a hot stewardess!
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Unfortunately she left you when she found out you have no money.
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Fortunately she left you her number should circumstances change.
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Unfortunately the shark ate the piece of paper with her number on it
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Fortunately it was easy to remember and you happen to have a cell phone on you.
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Unfortunately you get little or no reception on Candy Island.
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Fortunately, utilizing a complex array of makeshift candy satellites, you are able to contact a bevy of services for rescue and help, as well as the stewardess to invite her to dinner - when you return to your world-famous candy mansion off the coast of mexico.
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Unfortunately after you were rescued it had turned out that your home had caught fire and burned to the ground while you were away.
You have no home to live in.
-Gan
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Fortunately you saved a bunch of money on your home and car insurance by switching to Geico!
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Unfortunately the company didn't cover your house fire.
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Fortunately you find a penny on the ground.
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Unfortunately it wasn't heads up. No luck for you.
-Gan
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Fortuneately it's still worth $.01
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Unfortunately due to inflation a loaf of bread cost 10,000 pennies.
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Fortunately you have a coupon that is 9,999 pennies off your next loaf of bread purchase.
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Unfortunately the coupon's expiry date has passed.
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Fortunately the penny is actual a time machine letting you go back to when the coupon wasn't expired.
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Unfortunately you go too far back in time, landing yourself in the cretaceous period. Furthermore the penny doesn't exist yet, so you can't remedy the situation!
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Fortunately time uses string theory so you were able to bring the penny with you.
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Unfortunately my cat got ahold of the string theory. It has been tangled and torn to bits.
-Gan
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Fortunatly it was taped back together
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Unfortunately Gandolf's cat also swallowed the penny.
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Fortunately his cat coughed it up again with a hairball.
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Unfortunately the hair is much too tangled to even think about retrieving the penny from within.
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Fortunately there's a roaring fire nearby, in which to singe the hair from the penny.
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Unfortunately the fire melts the penny ruining its time travel powers!
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Fortunately a nearby Triceratops is selling some more of them.
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Unfortunately it is also being hunted down by a T-Rex.
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Fortunatly the T-Rex offers to sell you the pennies after he eats the triceratops.
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Unfortunately the triceratops was a con artist and they were just regular pennies.
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Fortunatly you noticed this and did not buy any pennies from the t-Rex.
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Unfortunately the t-rex is now angry that you didn't buy from him.
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Fortunately he decided not to eat you.
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Unfortunately that's because he wants to stomp on you instead!
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Fortunately after watching stomp the yard you schooled him. Booya
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Unfortunately you cracked your pancreas.
-Gan
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LOL!
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Fortunately, you were able to recover.
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Unfortunately you were traumatized by the whole experience.
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Fortunately you got therapy from a brontosaurus.
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Unfortunately it was hypnotherapy, and he also brainwashed you into assassinating the queen!
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Fortunately the queen wouldn't be born for another couple million years or so.
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Unfortunately you aren't in you right mind at the moment and are stumbling around acting weird and talking about the Queen.
EDIT: way more than a COUPLE million years. XD
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Fortunately you found a gold nugget in a bush.
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Unfortunately the nugget only serves as a constant reminder that your undying purpose is to slay the rich royal lady!
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fortunately you trip because you were starting at the gold while walking and you hit your head and remember what you were really doing.
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Unfortunately the blow to your head was immense and you suffer a concussion.
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(To connor: I dont know, she is pretty old...)
Fortunately an paleontologist who came back in time rescues you.
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Unfortunately, it was only so you could be tried for a crime you committed in the future. (which is the past for you but now is the present because you were sent back)
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Fortunately you were able to defend yourself by saying that the crime was to come in the future and therefore you still haven't committed. And that just confused him so he went home, taking you with him.
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Unfortunately, when he took you home the crime that you haven't committed became a crime that you have committed, and thus when you got home you were arrested.
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Fortunately your excursion through the time continuum has resulted in several positive alterations to the future-past you remember: Prison treatment is now exceptional, with 5 star dinning and 24x7 cell service!
Microsoft's bust too!
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Unfortunately you had an excellent lawyer and missed out on the experience of prison.
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Fortunately you're a free man again now, and can celebrate with a trip to your favourite holiday spot: Candy Island!
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Unfortunately in the Alternate Future your parents died before your birthday and you have no idea why you still exist.
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Fortunately, you still exist and can go on vacations.
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Unfortunately that's exactly what you do, which brings us back to post 13 (http://www.gamemakersgarage.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=looneybin;action=display;num=1287439065;start=0#12) and by extension spawns a hideous time loop!
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Fortunately you break this loop when a man from the past stops you speaking of a vacation to Pancake Pyramid.
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Unfortunately, the Pancake Pyramid was eaten.
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Fortunately by yourself.
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Unfortunately all in one sitting.
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Fortunately it was very good.
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Unfortunately you are still hungry, but now you're craving falafal.
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Fortunately a falafal store is next door.
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Unfortunately they only serve falafal without Neil Gaiman
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Fortunately you don't like Neil Gaiman.
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Unfortunately Neil Gaiman likes you
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Fortunately he also likes Colonel Mustard, whom he's spending the weekend with.
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Unfortunately, falafelosophy teaches you that you should join Neil Gaiman and Colonel Mustard for their weekend away.
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Fortunately you couldn't make it.
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Unfortunately neither could Colonel Mustard so Neil Gaiman is still in town.
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Fortunately you bump into him on the street.
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Unfortunately you don't like Neil Gaiman.
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Fortunately Neil Gaiman likes you
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Unfortunately this situation seems oddly familiar, then you realize this happened to you in your past just before you were hit by a falling piano, and since you traveled through time it's that same day all over. (except the falafel bit)
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Fortunately you wake up to discover that it was all just a dream.
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Unfortunately you were woken up by an explosion outside on your front lawn.
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Fortunately it was just firecrackers.
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Unfortunately they caught your lawn on fire.
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Fortunately Neil Gaiman was there to put it out.
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Unfortunately zombies were also there to put it out.
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(I loled! ;D)
Fortunately fire is an effective means of destroying the undead.
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Unfortunately, these zombies have an immunity to fire.
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Fortunately you happen to have a gun on you
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Unfortunately guns kill people, but these people are already dead.
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Fortunately the zombies don't know that so when you shoot them they fall thinking they are dead.
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Unfortunately you also shot Neil Gaiman.
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Fortunately he became a zombie and came back to life.
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Unfortunately it's a wretched, half life, spent scouring the earth for flesh and marrow.
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Fortunately you find another penny and go back in time and stop yourself from ever comi(ti)ng murder!
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Unfortunately the tax man has arrived to collect the sum of £0.01, and your time traveling penny is all you have on you.
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Fortunately he comes just in time to come into your time travel portal and is shot by the bullet that would have hit Neil.
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Unfortunately he becomes a zombie instead of Neil, except he stalks people repeating saying "change.... CHANGE.....".
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Fortunately he adopts this as a campaign slogan and runs for president!
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Unfortunately Neil Gaiman is his rival in the campaign!
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Fortunately Neil Gaiman isn't nearly as popular as Sam "Change Your Ways" Dodgson, and fails to beat him in the election.
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Unfortunately the people regret their mistake when they realize the proposed policies of Braaaaainz Braaaainz and Braaaaaaaaainz aren't working.
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Fortunately Sam "Change Your Ways" Dodgson didn't win either; Count Baron von Silverwind did (yes, count and baron).
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Unfortunately this drove both Sam and Neil to suicide.
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Fortunately it was only social suicide; they both retired to their respective french chateaux, where they began new and peaceful lives as rare wine collectors.
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Unfortunately they invited the new president and attempted to murder him, The Cask of Amontillado style.
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Fortunately Count Baron von Silverwind doesn't drink (and has read the book!), enabling him to escape their fiendish trap.
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Unfortunately while trying to escape Count Baron von Silverwind tripped and broke both his ankles.
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Fortunately a team of trained medics were on duty close by.
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Unfortunately they failed to notice Silverwind or hear his pleas for help.
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Fortunately Silverwind was really a training medical doctor
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Unfortunately its difficult to fix your legs with no equipment or ankles.
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Fortunately Silverwind stole the others medics medical bags
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Unfortunately the bags were empty.
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Fortunately a pterodactyl broke in through the ceiling at that exact minute, rescuing Silverwind
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Unfortunately, the pterodactyl was becoming a zombie.
ZOMBIE PTERODACTYL.
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Fortunately Silver finally got the pesky rock out of his shoe.
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Unfortunately the pesky rock was actual another ZOMBIE PTERODACTYL.
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Fortunately it's difficult for them to fly with the decaying flesh and stuff.
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Unfortunately they can gouge at your eyes with or without the capacity to fly.
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Fortunately these particular ones are allergic to eyes
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Unfortunately, seeing as how low-level undead behaviour is influenced by magical means or primitive instincts (in the case of having no master for example) instead of deductive reasoning, they attempt to gouge at Count Baron von Silverwind's eyes anyway!
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Fortunately you're no where near the situation!
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Unfortunately for me: I BLOODY WELL AM!
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Fortunately a giant zombie T-Rex came killed the ZOMBIE PTERODACTYL(s)
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Unfortunately there's now a giant zombie T-Rex to contend with.
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Fortunately zombie T-Rex are the opposite of regular T-Rexs, this one offers you an ice cream.
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Unfortunately it didn't offer one to Count Baron von Silverwind.
(http://gamemakersgarage.com/yabb/images/laugh.gif)
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Fortunately the Count Baron is not hungry anyway.
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Unfortunately he got another rock in his shoe.
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Fortunately this rock wasn't a ZOMBIE PTERODACTYL
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It was Neil Gaiman
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Unfortunately you don't like Neil Gaiman.
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Fortunately it was a Neil Gaiman it was a Neil Gaiman LOBSTER. Neil Gaiman LOBSTER!
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Unfortunately this lobster would rather you be dinner than be dinner.
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Fortunately its 1 o' clock in the morning and you have plenty of time until dinner!
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Unfortunately the human zombies aren't waiting for dinner.
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Fortunately you just happen to have a severed arm on you and you willingly give it to the zombies.
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Unfortunately you realize that the arm was actually attached to you.
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Fortunately before they can get at it you start running like mad and jump in your car.
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Unfortunately your car is actually mad and your actually a car.
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Fortunately since you are a car you can speed away and escape the zombies.
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Unfortunately your out of gas.
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WTF Happened? How am I a car?
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I think that broke the game! And as it turns out you were a car the entire time. :)
Okay restarting:
I just got fired from my job.
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Fortunately your job specialized in illegal activities and you didn't get arrested when it was uncovered.
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Unfortunately your "co-workers" want to kill you so you won't give up any secrets later.
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Fortunately you are good at hiding.
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Unfortunately they are better at seeking.
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Fortunately you have a pass port and lots of miles on your card.
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Unfortunately its difficult carrying around so many miles slows you down significantly.
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Fortunately you left your card at home so it doesn't slow you down.
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Unfortunately you left it in the oven, and now your house is on fire!
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Fortunately someone was searching your house at the time and they didn't get out.
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Unfortunately, your house burned down, and you are accused of murdering the person by burning down your house.
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Fortunately you had an excellent lawyer who proved your innocence.
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Unfortunately the lawyer was found guilty of bribing the jury and your case had to be retried.
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Fortunately the same evidence was enough to prove you innocent twice.
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Unfortunately the evidence was a video of you robbing a house at the time of the fire.
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Fortunately the owner of the house you were robbing agreed not to press charges, providing you assist him on a quest.
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Unfortunately the quest was slaying a mighty dragon and after you and him made the dragon mad he chickened out and now the dragon wants to eat you.
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Fortunately you succeed in slaying the dragon with your mighty sword.
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Unfortunately when you slew the mighty dragon its dead body blocked the entrance to the cave you were in and, and to make things worse your sword broke.
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Fortunately braking the sword released the Genie that was bound within it.
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Unfortunately this is a selfish Genie and won't offer you any wishes.
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Fortunately genies are obliged to grant wishes to the possessor of the artifact they find themselves bound to, and since the sword remains in your possession (broken or not) you are truthfully entitled to your full wishing rights!
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Unfortunately the Genie is an ass, and refuses all the same.
(couldn't resist! ;D )
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Fortunately, the Genie is so disgusted by your presence he blows a hole through a wall and leaves, which sets you free.
(lol)
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Unfortunately upon leaving you find that he is still there because he is bound to follow you around while you have the broken sword.
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Fortunately after following you for hours you eventually becomes a good friend and offers to give you your three wishes.
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Unfortunately you waste the first two on ice cream and a glass of water!
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Fortunately although you know you can't wish for more wishes you think to instead wish for more genies.
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Unfortunately you're now surrounded by evil djinns.
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Fortunately they all agree to grant you wishes.
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Unfortunately they all want to trick you so when you wish for lots of money you get trapped inside an ancient Egyptian tomb full of gold.
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Fortunately you do not wish for lots of money.
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Unfortunately they misheard you and thought you did.
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Fortunately they decided not to put you in an ancient Egyptian tomb full of gold.
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Unfortunately they gave you a bunch of cursed blue gold. (It's real gold, but it's, you know, cursed.)
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fortunately it is enough gold for you to pay someone to remove the curse.
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Unfortunately you have almost none left.
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Fortunately you still have a few wishes left.
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Start a new one? Or does anyone have a good smartass joke about evil genies?
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Unfortunately evil genies are really good at twisting around whats left of your wishes.
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Fortunately you've though of a wish that can't possibly be taken the wrong way!
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Unfortunately you wished for one REGULAR chocolate ice cream cone.
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Fortunately it is delicious and satisfying, just like orphaned children.
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unfortunately afterwards you got the munchies only orphan meat will fill
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fortunately you were very good at abducting the orphans
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Unfortunately a police officer saw you forcing 2 orphan kids into your van.
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Fortunately you have another alibi.